We were sitting in his office waiting for him to come give me the verdict. I was so nervous. I hated my mom for being there, while at the same time I was very grateful that she was there to support me.
My mom left to use the bathroom right before my doctor came into the office. He and I sat in silence while he looked through my records. My hands were shaking and my heart was beating out of my chest. I knew that in a few short moments, this would be the moment I would remember for the rest of my life. This would be the moment my fate would be decided and my whole life would change drastically.
My mom finally came back from the bathroom. The doctor stood up, shook her hand, and then leaned against his bookcase before starting his introduction. "Well, you don't have what your aunt has. Looking at your X-rays, at your blood work and your symptoms, you have what is called Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease." He then went into his explanation that basically, I have Lupus, but I don't have enough of the symptoms to be defined as such by the American College of Rheumatology. My heart dropped when I heard the word Lupus come out of his mouth. I had heard of it before, but I knew almost nothing about it. I desperately wanted to cry, but my mom and doctor were there. I needed time to process my feelings on my own. There were too many people there, and I had to listen to my doctor's explanation, my mom's questions, and figure out how I feel all at one time. I was overwhelmed.
When I got home, I googled Lupus and tried to find blogs written by people with Lupus. I looked up everything, from pain management, to cures, home remedies, what is Lupus. Everything I could think of. I didn't find much. Not as much as I would have liked. The blogs I did find, I didn't feel like I could relate to them. Or they hadn't been updated in years. I wanted useful information I could apply to my life. I wanted to see someone living with Lupus and living a full, wonderful life.
|This is the face of someone who will conquer all.|
That is why I write about my health.