Sunday, May 27, 2012

A Year of Lupus

Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary for getting Lupus. It was the day I cut my leg shaving. Such a small event that happens to everyone at some point started a strange journey in the world of invisible illnesses. I was planning on writing about what a crazy adventure this past year has been, but coincidentally I was very sick and slept most of the day. And today I went to Urgent Care (strangely enough, on the same day I went a year ago) to get a note for work and to get some medicine to make me better.

One of 16,000
I am one of more than 16,000 Americans diagnosed with Lupus this year. That is a huge number. Think of it in terms of pennies. Get a pile of 16,000 pennies together, and you'd have quite a large group of pennies. That's $160 worth of pennies. And I'm just one tiny penny out of a sea of pennies. Did you know 16,000 pennies weigh 100 pounds? That's just a few pounds lighter than I am. It's incredible.

What I've Learned This Year
1. Not all doctors deserve their PhD's.
2. It's better to pay the extra money for good care than choose the cheaper option who won't give you excellent care.
3. Take your health seriously.
4. I am not invincible.
5. Enjoy life, because you never know when you won't be able to anymore.
6. If people aren't there for you when you need them, then you don't really need them in your life.
7. I have more strength and determination than I ever knew.

What I'd Like This Next Year To Hold
First, I'd like to lose another 10 pounds this year. I'll be getting certified to teach an arthritis exercise program next month, so I'd like to start teaching my own class. If my body is up for the challenge, I want to start taking yoga and exercising more.

My Dream Camera: Nikon d5100. Soon my love...
I also would like to keep maintaining this blog. I don't want to let life get in the way of having my voice be heard. I'm still waiting to buy my dream camera (the amazing, incredible Nikon D5100) so I can add pictures and maybe even start adding video to this site. I might have to splurge soon.

Saving up money this next year is also a priority. I would eventually like to move out of my parents' house and start paying my own medical bill. This means I'd better hurry up and graduate by the end of the year. I have a lot of living to do in the meantime.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Brainiac

For quite a few years now, I've been almost certain that I have ADHD. If you've seen the movie "Up", you might remember when Dug says "My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!" and he gets distracted? That's me. All the time.

Easily Distracted and a Poor Memory; I Would Never Survive a Maze
www.digital-delight.ch
And then I've noticed that at work, I have the worst memory in the world. I take people's orders and I will go to prepare their food, and if I don't repeat it over and over and over, I'll forget it. Especially when it comes to soda. If they've ordered two drinks, and they say they'd like a Coke, then I ask if they'd like Regular or Diet, then they tell me what other drink they'd like, like a Pink Lemonade or something, I will forget what type of Coke they wanted. And when people order, they tend to list off everything they want. So I have to remember where all the buttons are, remember their whole list of food items, and then remember what their specifications are when I go get their food. So I have to repeat everything multiple times. It sucks.

I had this one lady who was so upset by me repeating everything and my memory problems that she stuck her hand in my face, did that little head bob thing people do when they're angry or they think you're an idiot, and then repeated it all again like I was some idiot. I really didn't appreciate that. And it wasn't like I was taking forever to get her the food she ordered.

And there I go, getting distracted again. Anyways... I have been easily distracted since I was little, but never have I had a bad memory. Some of my nicknames have been encyclopedia, dictionary, and radio. I remember everything and I can pull random facts out of thin air. So this horrible memory thing has been pretty frustrating. I can't remember the words I want to use, and often times I can't even remember what I was saying halfway through a sentence. Is it just me? Am I starting to get lazy and I'm just not paying attention like I used to? Is this the Lupus Fog I'm always hearing about?

There's a part of me that would really like to talk to my doctor and say "Hey, my brain isn't working the way it used to", but at the same time, I sort of feel like a hypochondriac. Is it all in my imagination?

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I'm Full Of Jealousy

Went to Urgent Care today. This time it's because I've injured my hip. Doctor says I've been working too much and I need to cut back. How do I tell my new job this? I don't want them to think it was a mistake hiring me. It was bad enough that I had to go home early because I couldn't stand up any longer. This is my first week there!

I just want to be healthy. Getting fit is 100 times harder when you have Lupus. I just want to train. Like hardcore workouts. So glad the weather is getting nice and hot so I can swim. Swimming is so much easier on the joints.

I also want to be able to work like normal people do. I want to be normal. I want to be healthy and normal.

I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to be healthy. When I see people pigging out on greasy fast food and junk food all the time and they're overweight and they complain about this hurting or them not feeling good, I find it hard for me to comprehend why they wouldn't want to change their ways and actually feel good. I know it's wrong of me, but I get so angry when I see someone with the opportunity to be healthy waste it. Here I am, struggling to get fit and become healthy. And there they are eating fast food every day and then complaining that they need to lose weight or that they feel lousy. I feel like saying "Don't complain to me until you start doing something about it. Here I am doing everything in my power to get better and you do nothing. You haven't earned the right to complain." I feel like such a terrible person just thinking it. I think this health jealousy is just eating me up. It seems like no matter how hard I try to outmaneuver my Lupus, it still manages to get the best of me.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Donate For Lupus Awareness Month!

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you might have noticed that I have added a new page to the site titled "Thanks to Our Contributors!".

World Lupus Day is May 10th! Don't forget!
Since it is Lupus Awareness month, I thought now would be the perfect time to start raising money for this worthy cause.

The Lupus Foundation of America has a way where you can make a "Page of Hope" and raise money that will be given directly to the Lupus Foundation. I created my own Page of Hope, and if you would like to donate to the Lupus Foundation of America you can go to Megan's Page of Hope and click the donate button.

I also have a Zazzle account where you can buy T-shirts and other products that I designed to support Lupus. For all of May, I will donate 75% of the profits to the Lupus Foundation of America.

I also have a Fiverr.com "gig" where if you "hire" me I will put your name on our "Thanks to Our Contributors" page and a link to your website if you have one, and for the month of May, I will donate 75% of the profits to the Lupus Foundation. Click here if you would like to donate using this method!

Do your part to bring awareness to this awful disease. For every dollar you donate, that is one dollar towards finding a cure. By donating, you'll not only help bring awareness and find a cure, but you'll boost your good karma and get your good deed in for the day (or year). And if you don't have Lupus, your dollar might help a friend or family member. Maybe your children or your children's children or even their children will benefit from that dollar you donate today, 25 years from now.