Monday, June 18, 2012

Teaching Me Some AFEP

Waking up to a text from someone you really like is such a great way to start the day. Then having a meeting discussing a class I'm going to teach (which I will not only get paid for, but is also good for me) made my day even more peachy.

I'm really looking forward to teaching my Arthritis Foundation Exercise Program. And I will be doing it with my dear friend S, who helped me out a lot today by telling me to look into adrenal fatigue and tell my doctor to look into that. I don't know what I'd do without that lovely lady. She makes a lovely friend because she actually understands what I'm going through. I don't have to explain what it feels like to be tired, or what it's like living in pain all the time. And I can actually do the same for her, which makes me feel quite useful.

But back to us teaching together...

I blush very easily. Very easily. In class, I was sitting in the midst of all these 70, 80, 90 year olds and our instructor was telling this person new to our class "Our ages here range from 21 to 90" and I piped in with "20, I'm not that old". I had no idea what I had said until all of the seniors started laughing uncontrollably. My face became so red. I couldn't help laughing, either. So teaching is going to a little harder because I'll be under the spotlight the entire time. Which is why S will come in handy. She'll get to share the spotlight with me.

This is going to be so much fun!!!

Friday, June 15, 2012

An Inner Dialogue

"I hate computers so much." Okay, that's a lie. I love computers. I love the internet. But fuck computers. I know how a computer works. Sort of. I don't want to learn about electrons and how a flash memory stick works. I want it to just work. And I really don't feel like taking 300 pages of notes on the topic.

I'm not really pissed at my Computer Literacy class. I mean, honestly, I love learning. It's great. But I have a deadline hanging over my head and I'm pretty sure I will never meet that deadline. I just want to give up, flop down onto my bed and forget about it for all eternity. I have more important things to think about. Like practicing teaching my arthritis exercise class. How am I supposed to get up in front of 70 seniors and teach when I'm terrified of talking in front of people. My hands shake, I stutter- overall it's not a pleasant experience for me. Then there's my job. I've worked every day this week. There's just too much going on!

I'm pretty sure if I was given six months off and was locked in my room I'd be able to finish it. But it's intimidating. What is an electron? What does it look like? How does it stay in flash memory gate? How do they make the wires so tiny for computer chips? How do they fit them in the right place? How are there so many computers in the world?

Back when life was SOOOO much easier.
I give up. I have my Lupus to focus on. I should not be living in perpetual pain! Life should not be like this! I want to go out and get really drunk. I want to stay out until 5 in the morning partying. I'm so sick of being this little goody two-shoes. I want to be horribly irresponsible. I want to live on my own and not worry about my parents. That would make my life so much easier. If I could afford to live on my own. But I'm forever doomed to live with my parents. I can't even get past this freaking flash memory chapter in my Computer Literacy book. I'm never going to graduate and I'll be stuck at home forever and I'll be broke for the rest of my life.

I remember being very little and everyone calling me a genius. Everyone thought I was a fucking genius and I'd be this amazing braniac when I grew up. But here I am, 20 years old and still living with my parents, working a minimum wage job, and I still can't understand what an electron is. I have this label of genius to live up to, and I'm still nothing while everyone is passing me by. And it pisses me off because I know I could be that genius everyone said I'm going to be.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I've Been Certified to Teach!

Yesterday I got my certification to teach an Arthritis Foundation Exercise Program. I am ecstatic! I will finally be able to teach people how to exercise in a way that will help reduce arthritis pain.

English: Arthritis Foundation Logo
English: Arthritis Foundation Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It took an entire day to get certified. To get certified, we went through all 90 exercises. All 90. And they had us try part of the endurance, which was way too much activity for me. I'm a bit concerned for some of the people who were gettting certified because they were healthy, active young people. I don't think they could really wrap their mind around the fact that the people they're teaching might not be capable of doing all the exercises.

It was a good day, but doing all those exercises gave me a flare up. I'll be hurting for a few days after this. But who cares? I'm certified! Now I can actually start helping out other people who have arthritis or chronic pain. Maybe even people around my age who, like me, are trying to get their life back to normal (or as normal as it can be). I can't wait to start planning lessons and teaching!
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