I'm not really pissed at my Computer Literacy class. I mean, honestly, I love learning. It's great. But I have a deadline hanging over my head and I'm pretty sure I will never meet that deadline. I just want to give up, flop down onto my bed and forget about it for all eternity. I have more important things to think about. Like practicing teaching my arthritis exercise class. How am I supposed to get up in front of 70 seniors and teach when I'm terrified of talking in front of people. My hands shake, I stutter- overall it's not a pleasant experience for me. Then there's my job. I've worked every day this week. There's just too much going on!
I'm pretty sure if I was given six months off and was locked in my room I'd be able to finish it. But it's intimidating. What is an electron? What does it look like? How does it stay in flash memory gate? How do they make the wires so tiny for computer chips? How do they fit them in the right place? How are there so many computers in the world?
|Back when life was SOOOO much easier.|
I remember being very little and everyone calling me a genius. Everyone thought I was a fucking genius and I'd be this amazing braniac when I grew up. But here I am, 20 years old and still living with my parents, working a minimum wage job, and I still can't understand what an electron is. I have this label of genius to live up to, and I'm still nothing while everyone is passing me by. And it pisses me off because I know I could be that genius everyone said I'm going to be.