Saturday, July 14, 2012

Ignorant Coworkers

Last night I had to deal with a very misinformed, rude co-worker. I'd say this is the second time my coworker has done something like this, and I am very frustrated by their ignorance.

I was at work last night, and we were moving the mats we stand on so that we could sweep the floor underneath. My fatigue was pretty bad that night. I could barely lift any weight. I was drained. But we needed to clean up the floors before the next rush. I did half of the floors. I was standing there doing a simple task that needed to be done, taking a breather before I swept the second half of the floors when she asked me in a scolding mother tone "Maybe you should finish sweeping the floors".

"I'm taking a quick break. I'm really exhausted"

"I'm exhausted, too" God, she sounded so condescending! "But it needs to get done"

"You don't even know the meaning of exhausted!" Very immature of me, but I was pissed off. I was in really bad pain, 800 mg of pain meds wasn't helping, and I barely had the energy to move the broom back and forth to create monstrous piles of popcorn and then push them into a tiny butler (that dustpan thing with a long handle).

What does she know of exhaustion? Has she ever spent 6 months of her life mostly in bed because she only has energy to stand for 15 minutes at a time? Has she ever been so tired that she couldn't even feed herself? How would she feel if turning the steering wheel of her car made her pant like someone who sprinted a mile? And she never will know, so she won't ever understand. Well for her sake I hope she never experiences this.

My hair may be a mess, but look at that face. You can tell I'm having fun.
Taken by my dear friend Cupcake.
I just wish my coworkers would stop nagging me and focus on what they need to be doing. It's not their job to make sure I get things done. My managers can do that.

A pic of me and my lovely bf... sort of.
He's on the phone.
(And yes, I'm wearing a bathing suit under that)
Taken by my dear friend Cupcake.
Oh, and here are some belated beach pics. I figured I'd add something fun and relaxing since I've been such a moody person lately. Can't be all doom and gloom. There's too much fun to be had to just be gloomy all the time.

In case I forgot to tell you, that beach trip was awesome, but I ended up with a wicked sunburn. I'm talking the entire back half of my body. Red as a lobster. But that day at the beach saved me from a mental breakdown.

My little piece of advice: If things start to get too overwhelming, take a vacation. No point getting sicker from stress. Just, don't get a sunburn.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Cognitive Dysfunction

Sorry I've been so MIA lately. I've been a bit distracted with life. Work, work, work, boyfriend time, work, exercise class. It's a never ending cycle.

So my doctor says I've been getting better. That's good news. Doesn't make me feel better when I'm always in pain though. Doctor also says that I have Cognitive Dysfunction. Which is what I'd like to talk (okay, vent) about.

Cognitive Dysfunction is basically the common "Lupus Fog". I can't remember what I'm doing, I struggle to remember things. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever for my brain to understand just what is going. And my work has started to notice. It feels like thinking through a layer of jello. Yesterday, I was "talked to" about my forgetting to up-sell items (try and convince people to buy larger items) and holding up the item of the week we are trying to sell. If I don't remember to do this from now on, I'll get written up and will no longer have a flawless record.

Do I tell my work about the cognitive dysfunction? I already get the impression they don't really believe I'm sick. And I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for everything I can't do. My coworkers already have the impression that I'm lazy. It kills me that people think of me this way. Before I got sick, I never had complaints about my work. Customers like me because I'm friendly and peppy and I was always getting compliments from them. I still get compliments from them.

Ugh. I'm trying to convince the wrong people that I'm a good worker. When I get to work, I'm going to have to figure some way to make myself look like the most useful person this company has ever hired. Otherwise my flawless record goes down the drain.
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