Sorry I've been so MIA lately. I've been a bit distracted with life. Work, work, work, boyfriend time, work, exercise class. It's a never ending cycle.
So my doctor says I've been getting better. That's good news. Doesn't make me feel better when I'm always in pain though. Doctor also says that I have Cognitive Dysfunction. Which is what I'd like to talk (okay, vent) about.
Cognitive Dysfunction is basically the common "Lupus Fog". I can't remember what I'm doing, I struggle to remember things. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever for my brain to understand just what is going. And my work has started to notice. It feels like thinking through a layer of jello. Yesterday, I was "talked to" about my forgetting to up-sell items (try and convince people to buy larger items) and holding up the item of the week we are trying to sell. If I don't remember to do this from now on, I'll get written up and will no longer have a flawless record.
Do I tell my work about the cognitive dysfunction? I already get the impression they don't really believe I'm sick. And I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for everything I can't do. My coworkers already have the impression that I'm lazy. It kills me that people think of me this way. Before I got sick, I never had complaints about my work. Customers like me because I'm friendly and peppy and I was always getting compliments from them. I still get compliments from them.
Ugh. I'm trying to convince the wrong people that I'm a good worker. When I get to work, I'm going to have to figure some way to make myself look like the most useful person this company has ever hired. Otherwise my flawless record goes down the drain.